James, Sean and Brian Gunn think they've done something sexually daring - but not too sexual and not too daring - by creating what they call "PG Porn." If its first offering is any indication of what viewers can expect from the future, male porn fans will probably call it "cock teasing," and women will just call it another example of violent misogyny self-righteously disguised as humor.

Courtesy of the PGPorn.tv website, the mainstream film world's brothers Gunn offer content that writer, director, producer James insists will provide visitors with "a place where the porn and mainstream film industries meet and get to have some understanding with each other."

While this sounds great on its surface, the reality is far less savory than even the most fluid-flecked Max Hardcore or Extreme Associates release - which is saying something, given that the former has been convicted of obscenity and the latter is facing similar charges, allegedly stemming from the company's affection for writing emotionally rattling plots that include aggressive sex and fake acts of violence.

The Gunn brothers apparently consider violence against women to be not just acceptable but sexy, so long as nobody actually gets laid or engages in any wet spot to erogenous zone contact.

At issue is "Nailing Your Wife," an on-its-face standard porn plot rehash featuring a slap bass intro, stilted acting, and the quintessential horny wife cheating on her quick-as-a-bunny husband with the classic everyman construction worker.

According to the website, the goal of the Gunn's video segments is to provide their sex-weary but strangely porn-loving visitors with all the best parts of erotic videos without having it "ruined" by "PEOPLE HAVING SEX."

Heaven forefend.

Indeed, in the site's introductory clip, beautiful Penthouse Pet Aria Giovanni never gets a chance to show her famous breasts or even catch a peek at what's tucked inside of "Firefly" actor Nathan Fillion's trousers. Instead of ruining a perfectly good sex scene with actual sex, the Gunn trio chose to make the pop shot something they think their viewing audience will find more easily digestible: a fatal nail gun spike through the heroine's head.

Shades of Michael Myers, Jason and other mainstream film punishers of sexual indulgence.

"It's pornography everyone can enjoy," the website insists, calling into question exactly what kind of pornography its founders have been watching and what they find enjoyable about it.

While the idea of explicit sex-free porn is nothing new — within the industry it's called "soft core" — the idea that a site featuring the accidental death of a sexually frustrated woman is an erotic improvement over sites featuring the intentional indulgence of carnal desires by sexually adventurous women seems more than a wee bit of a stretch.

Or maybe it's only a stretch for folks who enjoy watching adults act out their consensual sexual fantasies… including the sex part.

Whether the Gunns have absorbed more sex-negativity from the surrounding culture than they're willing to admit is a subject for debate and intensive therapy sessions, but their decision to premier the site with a clip celebrating deadly violence — in the name of avoiding nudity — is far more provocative than the clip itself.

The adult entertainment industry has long pointed out that the mainstream film world has a love affair with non-consensually expelled body fluids that's not merely sanctioned but celebrated - while the porn industry's celebration of the body fluids traditionally associated with pleasure receive condemnation and censure. The existence of the tongue-in-cheek but still sexually sanctimonious PGPorn.tv and its accidental snuff angle only adds fuel to that fire.

According to the press, James isn't surprised by the controversy swirling around his site, but his attention seems more captured by the usual anti-porn suspects than by those he and his brothers claim they want to entice and better "understand."

Of course Bob Peters, president of Morality in Media is incensed by PGPorn.tv. Peters and his fellow flesh-hating doom-sayers are like addicts unable to pass up an opportunity to claim that possessing skin leads to sin, sin, and more sin. Of course he and his Greek chorus of anti-pleasure activists are convinced that watching PGPorn.tv will lead viewers down the cum-and-tears-stained path to hardcore fare and the mythically rampant "abuse" of the "real people" who appear in it.

The idea of sexy but non-explicit scenarios is packed with potential, but it's not a new idea; not even to porn consumers. Burlesque, vaudeville, Benny Hill, Swedish erotica, and the Carol Connors Erotic Adventures of Candy, and Candy Goes to Hollywood features — to name only a few — used and continue to use flirtatious innuendo to prime their erotic pumps.

"We like to pretend that we're miles and miles away from pornography," James confessed to the media," but we're not."

Gunn and brothers may be geo-located near the porn heartland - and may even have watched enough porn to nurture this latest manifestation of Hollywood's desire to create pornographic material without actually becoming pornographers - but Nailing Your Wife is nothing to be proud of. Instead, it is just another example of Tinsel Town's wanton hypocrisy and love for claiming the moral high ground by punishing honest sexual expression with violence, however comic.

Future walks on the not-so-wild-side will feature esteemed female performers including Belladonna and Sasha Gray; neither of whom will become naked. Whether or not their characters will survive their non-sexual encounters is yet to be seen.

I am excited as hell to announce the visual realization of my second script, "Voluptuous Biker Babes," directed by Carlos Batts and starring the lusciously BBW April Flores, Bunny de La Cruz and La Cholita.

When I met April Flores during Adult Entertainment Expo last January, I knew that I wanted to write something for her. This is what she, her inspired director, Carlos Batts, his talented cast and crew, and your humble Darklady hath wrought!

Buy it in bucket loads! Give it to your friends, your family, your Weight Watchers' buddy, complete strangers you meet while waiting in line for the bus or your latte! Buy a copy for every person you've ever met!

Most of all… I hope you enjoy it — and I look forward to helping create more in the near future. Like every waiter in Hollywood, what I really want to do is direct.

========================================

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http://www.booksoup.com/Details.asp?ProductID=909

Voluptuous Biker Babes

In-Store Event:
with Carlos Batts and April Flores
November 11th - 7pm

*A Modern Cult Masterpiece*

* *

*Shot on the original location of the classic Russ Meyer film Faster Pussycat Kill Kill, Director Carlos Batts revisions the original film into a surreal sex odyssey.*
* *

Three Dance Divas - April (April Flores), Cholita (LA Cholita) and Boom Boom (Bunny de La Cruz) – get lost during their cross country dance tour. In the desolate nowhere lives a deranged and sassy dance cult lead by Pa Fuschia Flores the self proclaimed Diva of the Desert. In a jealous rage Pa Fuschai declares her lost friends her mortal enemies and vows to destroy them in a desert wrestling match.

*Music by*: hustlePUNCH, BHAV, HELLEBORE 70, Polkadot Cadaver, Dactyl, Fishnet Stalkers, Horse the Band, *DHUNDEE*

Price: $24.95

Sarah Palin's Celebration of Hubris
by Darklady

Self-confidence is good.

Self-confidence after honest self-inventory is even better.

Alas for America, Sarah Palin, the first-ever female Republican
vice-presidential candidate, seems to possess plenty of the former after
having done precious little of the latter.

There's a fine line between self-confidence and hubris, but Palin
appears to have not merely located and crossed that line, but convinced
herself that having done so is a praiseworthy virtue. Indeed, although
she would likely disagree, without her hubris, Palin's increasingly sad
media moments would be utterly without substance.

It's not that Palin couldn't provide voters with facts or explanations;
it's that she chooses not to do so. Whether her GOP handlers have told
her that she doesn't need to do more than wrinkle her nose, call
interviewers by their first name, pose prettily, and repeat increasingly
unconvincing buzzwords and talking points – or whether she herself
doesn't think we deserve anything more – hardly matters. The end result
is the same.

Overweening hubris.

Ever since the self-described “pitbull with lipstick” showed Sen.
Hillary Clinton that absolutely “anybody” can become vice-president
(except for Sen. Hillary Clinton), I have fought hard to separate my
intense dislike for her message from my intense dislike for her
methodology. What, I wondered, is it about this MILF-y politico that
sticks in my craw with such intensity? It has been my dream since before
I could even read to see a woman president. After all, as a child I
thought I might like to grow up to be the president. Or an astronaut. Or
a teacher. Or an actress. Or a writer.

I was enraged when I learned that Wal-Mart refused to carry t-shirts
reading “Someday a girl will become president.” I was thrilled when
Hillary Clinton entered the presidential race, and disappointed, but
strangely empowered, when I realized that I couldn't bring myself to
vote for her.

But Sarah Palin has inspired an entirely new confusion of responses,
nearly all of them profoundly negative.

As I've stated before, it's not her stance on guns – after all, I have a
conceal-carry permit. It's not her decision to raise a Down syndrome
child – after all, I have a mentally retarded sister. It’s not her
history as a one-time beauty princess – after all, I’ve worked in the
adult entertainment industry for nearly 20 years. It's not even the fact
that she's staggeringly unschooled in matters of national and
international politics – after all, I've had to be a “quick study” on
any number of unfamiliar topics during my writing career.

After much honest and sometimes uncomfortable personal self-inventory on
my own part, I realized that it is Palin’s utter refusal to acknowledge
that the position she aspires to step her sensible high heels into is an
awe-inspiring one unlike anything she’s attempted to date; one for which
her previous experience, while helpful, has not truly prepared her. To
deny such a thing is to bring her judgment into serious question.

This doesn’t mean that Palin needs to pretend to have any more
experience than she already has; it merely means that she should be
honest about that experience and genuinely explain why and how it
matters. Easily uncovered lies and obvious exaggerations or avoidance
answers do not qualify.

It doesn’t require Palin to “blink” or appear the coward or the fool to
honestly acknowledge that living across a maritime divide that barely
allows a glimpse of a largely uninhabited one-time Iron Curtain
delineating Russian island a continent away from its nation’s capital
isn’t much of a foreign policy credit. Stammering that journalists are
unfairly “mocking” her for claiming that it is more than fulfills the
requirement for appearing the fool, however. Explaining how it feels to
live in and govern a state with no domestic borders, on the other hand,
could provide those in the 48 contiguous United States with deeper
insights and greater understanding.

Admitting that there are challenges to face when springing from locally
focused governor of a sparsely populated and geographically alienated
state to the 2nd most powerful leading role in the modern world would
remove the stink of arrogance and ignorance that has rapidly tarnished
her political bloom – at least for those few voters still waffling on
whether to hire the woman who so boldly hopes to become the country’s
first female vice-president – and possibly president.

It is not a sign of weakness for Palin to acknowledge humbly that the
task before her is the greatest in her short, if profitable and
drama-rich, professional career. Indeed, it would be a sign of strength
and integrity; two things that this campaign season and country could
benefit from.

Without that sign, the electorate is left to marvel at her gams, yearn
for her eyewear, groan at her gaffes, wonder at her GOP crafted
celebrity status, and take on faith that she even realizes how important
the stakes are and how utterly in the deep end she has found herself.

Frankly, the fact the call for this act of honest humility is coming not
from one of her supporters, but from one of her detractors, tells me
that Palin — or her handlers — already know that the answer to “Is she
ready” is a resounding “No.”

Darklady’s Harvest Fest of Hedonism Late Season Polyween
Produced by Darklady Productions, Inc.

Darklady's Harvest Fest of Hedonism welcomes sexy pilgrims, perverts, ghoulies, ghosties, long-leggedy beasties and other beings that go “bump” in the night to celebrate the fragile glory of life and the thrill of loving sensual abundance.

Bring a pet or human care product for Esther’s Pantry OR a party night specific dinner receipt from Rumpspankers Restaurant and get $5 off your entry.

Saturday, November 8th, 2008
7:00 pm - 2:00 am
Portland, OR
Now more accessible!

Full Bar & Food Menu
Ages 21 and older

Portrait Booth by SexyGeeky.net
Music & Performances by DJs Darknezzz & SexyNikki
Birthday Fantasies for June – November
Costume Prizes & Giveaways from FilthyCabbage.net, Big Teaze Toys, Topco Toys, Taboo Video, the Stockroom, Sik World Clothing and more!
S/M Play Space & Sensual Rubitorium
Massage Table, Sex Swing & Monkey Rocker
Cloakroom
More, more, more!

$50 - Street clothes
$25 – Costumes, Festive, Fetish, or Dressy Attire
RSVP Absolutely Required
Darklady@darklady.com

Limited work-scholarships available.
Cash & in-kind sponsorships of all kinds welcome.

— Darklady
http://www.darklady.com
http://www.masturbate-a-thon.org

This isn't the story of political outrage, scientific discovery, or even artistic appreciation…

This is the story of my passenger side window.

About three years ago, it decided to stop working reliably. Being as it is one of those fancy electric windows, I found myself at its mercy. I could spend what I figured would be a fortune to have it repaired and or learn to live without a passenger side window that went both up and down. Given that my car was shiny and new in 1991 and has more than 200,000 miles on it, there was some question about whether a large expenditure would be worth it.

After three years of suffering through winters and summers without a passenger side window that goes both up and down — and exclaiming repeatedly, "Oh, no! Don't do that! The window doesn't work!" — and looking like a snob when I saw friends on the street but wouldn't roll my window down to talk to them… I decided to have the car examined for its likelihood to survive long enough to make repairing the window worthwhile. 

I was assured that the old girl has some life in her yet — and now I have a passenger side window that rolls both up and down.

It's surprisingly exciting. I'm all aquiver.

Sarah Palin Pisses Me Off
by Darklady

Sarah Palin pisses me off. There. I’ve said it.

I don’t necessarily like being pissed off, but I think it’s important to acknowledge it when it happens. That kind of confession is very Catholic of me, I supposed. I may have lost faith in religious faith, but my teeth were still cut within a compellingly ritual-and-symbol heavy system – and its core messages went deep.

And that’s just one reason among many that Sarah Palin pisses me off – but very few of my reasons are what she and her Greek chorus of moralists expect.

Sure, I’m pissed because she belongs to a church that believes gays need a cure, Jews need Jesus, and speaking jibberish is a sign of divine contact; but those are her personal problems and I’ve got enough of my own to worry about.

Sure, I’m pissed because she violated the trust of the people whose interest she vowed to protect, when she changed her story about the so-called “Bridge to Nowhere,” and sure I’m pissed that she tried to censor library books and fire everyone who didn’t snap immediately into parade rest when in her presence, but those were ultimately Alaskan problems to be dealt with and resolved by Alaskans.

And sure, I’m pissed because she thinks creationism deserves serious discussion in science classrooms, while frank discussion of human sexuality does not.

But these are not the reasons that Sarah Palin pisses me off enough to write this.

Sarah Palin pisses me off enough to write this, because she’s a slap in the face of every progressive woman with an ethical backbone, a loving heart, a functioning brain, and an ambitious spirit.

It doesn’t bother me that Sarah Palin can drop an elk with a rifle – although I think picking off wolves from an airplane is unsporting, cold-blooded, and cowardly. It doesn’t bother me that Sarah Palin has a beauty queen background – although I find the timing of her first and fifth pregnancies interesting to ponder. It doesn’t bother me that she’s opposed to abortion and chose to give birth to a child with Down syndrome – although I must admit amazement at her nearly super-human ability to camouflage this last pregnancy as compared to her previous ones.

So, what is it about Sarah Palin that sets my blood to “percolate” and makes my entire epidermis crawl? What is it about Sarah Palin that really pisses me off?

It’s the fact that she uses the contents of her uterus like a deflective shield.

I have never seen anyone throw one of their own children under a bus as quickly as I saw Sarah Palin throw not one, but three of hers. Track, Trig, and Bristol; all momma’s little career-sound bytes and photo ops, with Piper’s gregarious cuteness thrown in for good measure and snuggly dressed, but tastefully underage, Willow wisely fading into the background whenever possible.

When faced with rumors that Trig’s matronage might be closer to Bristol than Sarah, the governor of Alaska/newly tapped GOP vice-presidential pick did the only logical thing to defend her title: she outted Bristol as nearing the end of her own second trimester.

Thanks, mom!

As the daughter of a religiously based female right-to-lifer myself, that feels especially icky.

As someone who found herself having partnered sex late in my 16th year, I can safely say that the last thing I’d have wanted on international television would have been my mom telling the world I’d gotten pregnant and was going to marry the poor schmuck responsible – and then parading us in front of the cameras like a living doll collection.

For all the flag waving and mentally retarded baby hugging, how is the above anything other than Sarah covering her ass at Bristol’s expense – and how on earth does Bristol’s pregnancy prove Sarah’s fecundity?

Even beyond the outrageous insensitivity that internationally famous Mother Palin showed when putting now internationally infamous Fallen Daughter Bristol in her place is the way in which the woman uses her boys. Only one of three candidates with a child in or headed to Iraq, Sarah drops mention of Track’s impending ticket to adventure nearly as much as she mentions that McCain spent some time having his mind and body bent and abused during Vietnam.

But the thing that really pisses me off about Sarah Palin – and I say this as the sister of a mentally retarded adult — is that at every moment possible, poor Trig is clutched in front of the cameras like the photo-op heavy, invaluable, and easily manipulated manifestation of the evangelical movement that he is.

And all of this is being puppeteered by a party that has thrived on condemning the sexual misfortunes or aberrations of others; simultaneously claiming a perverse corner of the market on virtue and family values while its loudest champions are repeatedly found in bed with the polar opposite of their preachings.

There. I’ve said it. There are a few of the reasons that Sarah Palin pisses me off.

– Darklady